Endless Seconds - one shot
by DarkSigyn
Summary: Diving into Mako's head when she finds Raleigh in his capsule seemingly dead.


Mako was sucked back into consciousness and if she hadn't been still dizzy she probably would have jumped out of her capsule instead of climbing out slowly. She got up and turned around. Her ears were buzzing and her heart was aching in her chest, and stars danced in front of her eyes like mosquito. The aftermath of missing oxygen - she explained herself, trying to stay rational. It always had been one of her strength: staying calm through stating her facts, but ever since her first drift it had become harder and harder to focus on that, especially when it came to being connected to Raleigh who was everything else but rational. He was pure instinct, pure impulse, and pure intuition. And just that - so she had realized - was what drifting was all about, why the two of them merged so perfectly together. Even though they understood each other completely, suffered the same tragedy they were completely different. Raleigh was everything she was not, and vice versa. They were literally two sides of the same coin the two halves of one brain. She was reason, he was intuition. It was so obvious to her right now, when he was gone.

It seemed like an eternity. Endless seconds she stared across the desert of water. For a second Mako believed having to catch her heart with her hands as she saw Raleigh's capsule breaking through the surface. For the first time since her childhood she didn't think before she acted, but jumped into the icy water of the pacific.

Mako's face was numb, just like her, not even trying to talk to herself to calm her down. She wasn't even able to think anything else but his name as she pulled herself onto his still closed capsule, gasping. Raleigh didn't move. Her hands were shaking as she pulled at the grip that send off the coverage. Quickly she pulled off his helmet. Raleigh was pale, so pale. Trying to focus, she placed her hand to his neck, searching for a heartbeat.

"I can't find his pulse", Mako heard herself reporting. "I don't think he's breathing", her voice cracked.

Her mind was nothing but pictures, memories.

"Raleigh?" she felt like listening to someone else, as panic took over.

This was unreasonable. Her voice couldn't possible make him open his eyes and smirk like her with this awful crooked smile.

"Raleigh?!"

Her lugs refused to pull the oxygen out of the air. Her throat seemed to tighten. And if she had been in a different state of mind she would have identified all the symptoms of an upcoming panic attack. But right now her only strength had left her. Mako tried to swallow but her throat was dry. As she dragged him out of his capsule Mako was that little kid again. Raleigh was so heavy, so lifeless, just like her Dad who had been covered in concrete chunks.

"No", she whimpered before she pulled him against herself, clinging to him like he was her read shoe. "No."

It felt like yesterday, like just moments ago, when she had to stop trying to wake her parents and start to run, grabbing that shoe her mother just had been about to put on her feet. Like she was still out of breath from running, her throat soar from screaming, hastening through a desert of ruins, concrete and dust with a kaiju on her heels. They were gone. Long time ago. Her sensei, Stacker, dead. And now Raleigh too? There was no way of losing him. Of all the things this was the one thing she couldn't bear.

Unconsciously she pulled Raleigh even closer, like she tried to merge into drift with him, to somehow have him with her, to keep him with her.

"Don't go", Mako pleaded, praying, hoping just this one time. "Please. Don't go."

Hot tears were burning in her eyes which she buried against his shoulder, pulling Raleigh as close as her arms were capable off. She wouldn't let him go, she couldn't. She simply couldn't.

"You're squeezing me to tight."

Mako froze; she couldn't even blink. Had she really heard this? Holding her breath she managed to open her arms a bit and the body moved away from her.

A choke. It wasn't her. Was this really happening? A gasp. And yet, even though she couldn't believe it, because there was no rational explanation in her mind, he was looking at her, shaking his head a little, looking straight at her with the corners of his eyes moving up a bit.

"Couldn't breathe", Raleigh said.

And there it was. His smile that was as infectious as it was rare. Laughing never had been so relieving and Mako didn't even remember when she had laughed like this the last time.


End file.
